i just learnt life's important lesson today.
NEVER TRUST ANYONE.not even your family, your teachers, your BEST friends, your friends,
nobody.
because all they do is give you FALSE hope everytime.
they can say you look BEAUTIFUL,
but deep down inside,
they will say, "OH GOSH, SHE'S THE UGLIEST PIECE OF SHIT!"
they can say you did WELL,
but they actually meant that you SUCKED.
they can say you are OUTSTANDING, but SLACKED A BIT.
but they actually wanted you to know that
YOU WERE THE LEAST BIT OUTSTANDING AND YOU SLACKED A LOT.
just that little bit of consolation.
just that tiny bit.
it gives us false hope everytime.
why give us false hope.
just be straight to the point.
shove it to our face.
why beat around the bush?
IT'LL ONLY HURT US MORE.
no one understands.
you failed, big deal.
just try again.
that's just a mistake.
but i can say,
it's not just a simple mistake,
it's not just a small failure,
it's a HUGE mistake,
it's a BIG failure.
& you know why,
because you were never me.
you don't understand what it'll feel like,
to have every step of your life planned out.
as if you were in this world for a purpose-
which is to serve your creator.
NO CHOICES! NO DECISIONS!
JUST DO IT THAT WAY!
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS...
YOU HAVE TO DO THAT...
these phrases echo in my head.
then what's the point of living then,
if life is just about being controlled,
being PERFECT.
so i have concluded that,
i came to this world for a purpose,
god gave me a purpose,
to LISTEN and OBEY others,
let them FEEL BETTER about themselves,
because they KNOW that there is someone there they can LOOK DOWN on.
because they KNOW she is NOT AS GOOD as themselves.
because they KNOW she will make them HAPPY,
because they KNOW she will NEVER FIGHT for her rights.
because they KNOW she will GIVE IN always.
because they KNOW she will....
she will...
she will...
DO ANYTHING TO BE THAT PERFECT LITTLE GIRL EVERYONE WISHES SHE WILL BE. yes.
i'll do that.
that's my only PURPOSE in life isn't it?
it's 3:56 AM now
